Thor and an awkward breakfast conversation
by Georgie J
Summary: Thor has an awkward conversation at breakfast about his love life.


[ _Ragnorok has already happened and the population of Asgard has arrived on Earth to find a new home. This is some weeks into their settlement and Thor is having breakfast at the home of one of the humans that has volunteered to assist in the settlement process. Also present is Cass's friend, Darcy who is more here for the fun and novelty of meeting the God of Thunder than out of any real concern for the wellbeing of the Asgardian refugees._ ]

"Do you think he's ever done it before?" Darcy leaned in conspiratorially.

"Done what?" Cass looks up from the bacon she is trying not to burn.

"You _know_."

"No. I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Darcy," Cass says with a warning glare. She was standing at the kitchen bench, waving a spatula in the direction of the doorway. "He can probably hear you."

"So what? Maybe he can answer my question," Darcy said. "Don't _you_ want to know?" She grinned at Cass, watching her turn a peculiar pink.

"Well _I_ do. I mean, can you imagine it? That hair, tickling your face? Those arms? That weight pressed against-"

"Enough!" Cass slammed slapped the pan with her spatula, wincing as a fleck of bacon oil spat back at her.

"Enough of what?" And he appeared in the doorway, grinning, in a rumpled t-shirt, his slowly re-growing hair spilling out of its loose tie.

Cass floundered. "Darcy was just…" and mumbled something into the burnt toast she was now slapping in a pile onto a plastic plate.

"Darcy just wanted to know whether you'd ever slept with a woman before," Darcy said. Cass's cheeks immediately flushed, while Darcy stared back defiantly, grinning over the rim of her orange juice.

Thor looked amused, "Yes, I do it all the time." He leaned conversationally on the counter.

A clatter of cutlery. Hastily, Cass retrieved the knife she had been using to and resumed scraping off the burnt layer of the toast, perhaps a little more savagely then before. She moved a little further away from his end of the kitchen.

"Reeeeeally?" Darcy was avid, eyes aglow, chin propped on her elbows. Cass could practically see the stories forming behind her brow. She would be the first one to break the news of Thor's live life and upstage those trashy women's magazines Cass so secretly treasured.

"Well, of course. My mother, my sister, friends, them women that fought alongside me. I mean Cass and I slept together last night," he said. In a splutter, Darcy sprayed orange juice over the tablecloth, orange droplets scattering everywhere.

"You _what_?"

"Not just women as well. I mean by brother-" Thor continued.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down horsey." This was Cass, this time brandishing not a spatula but a butter knife. "We did _not_ sleep together last night."

"Yeah, I should hope not," muttered Darcy darkly into her napkin, as she dabbed away the juice.

"Yes we did." Thor looked puzzled.

"No, no."

"But, you were in the bed and I was on the floor. You were literally right next to me."

"Oh," Cass gave a sigh of relief and a weak little laugh. "You mean actually sleeping."

"Yes, isn't that what you just asked me…?"

"No, no honey." This was Darcy again, back in familiar waters. "Firstly, thank _God_ you have not slept with your brother because that would just be" and she gave a little shiver-shrug. "Gross. And secondly, I mean actual _sleeping_ , as in" and then she gave the universal symbol.

"Oh!" Comprehension dawned on Thor's face. "You mean making love to a woman."

The smell of rubbery rubbery eggs, bacon and burnt toast filled the stuffy kitchen. The sound of Cass's stubborn scraping filled the silence. Darcy waited, breath baited and Cass, teeth clenched.

"Well, no then."

A quick sigh. Thor couldn't be sure who it came from – Cass, who had finished with the toast or Darcy, with her eyes wide and white as a boiled egg.

"But whhhhhy?" she breathed.

"Well," he said. "I've never really had the time. That and I've never really found the right woman. I thought Jane was something but you know," he shrugged.

He gestured at Cass, "Are you done with that toast?"

"Mmmhmm, done slerggh," Cass said.

"And besides," he said, leaning over and gently prying the plastic plate of toast from her hands. She could practically _feel_ the crackles of electricity as he leaned in to her. "It means something to me," he said.

Ugh, that blue. That blue of his eyes! Cass leans away, backing up against the stove, and almost knocks the handle of the pan with bacon in it right from the stovetop.

The moment passes and Thor is threading his way to the table, deftly swiping up another plate of scrambled eggs and tray of condiments as he went.

Cass gathers herself.

"Oh I totally agree," Darcy croons, as he delivers the steaming dishes in front of her. "Totally."

Thor smiles and takes a seat opposite Darcy. Cass follows them to the table with the bacon in hand.

"Woof," Darcy says, waving a hand in front of her nose, "I think you really burnt it again, Cass," as Cass plonks the bacon on the table. "I can practically smell the burnt. It's- Oh my GOD you're on fire!"

"What?"

"Your shirt, it's your shirt!"

Cass turns frantically. "Where?!"

Darcy grabbing her half-drunk orange juice splashes it on Cass, missing the circle of flames sprouting from her back as Cass turns in frantic circles. Thor, in two fluid steps, rises from his seat and clamps Cass, back to him, with his arms around her chest. A moment of silence.

"Did you?" Darcy falters, pointing awkwardly, "Did you just use your chest to put out fire?"

This time Cass can definitely feel some kind of electrical current racing through her. Thor is grinning down at her. "Must have caught it on the stovetop when you were cooking the bacon," he said.

"Yep." She said. "Mmph, thanks," she said, stepping unsteadily out of his embrace. "I'm just going to, mmm" she nodded and walked out unsteadily to change her t-shirt. It flapped from the ragged edges of the whole now burnt into the back.

"You're welcome," he called after her cheerfully.

"That is so _cool_ ," Darcy mutters, shaking her head and stabbing some bacon happily.


End file.
